Stupid and Weird

Bluetooth device makes you have to use your hands again

Anyone who has a bluetooth headset knows that the one obvious advantage it has is that you do not have to use your hands. The whole purpose of a bluetooth headset is to allow your hands to do other things, rather than hold your phone to your head. Even with that very clear advantage, a company called Hi-Fun has decided to reinvent the wheel and turn it back into a square.

Hi-Call is a pair of gloves that you’ll be able to wear and make phone calls through via their bluetooth capability. They will connect to any bluetooth phone, just as a normal headset would. The difference is that you have to place your hand to your face and look like you’re pretending to talk to someone, much like a crazy person would do.

I read about these over at Mashable and immediately expected people to mention just how stupid these were. No one did. According to the article, these new gloves are “perfect for chilly winter days” and allow you to “speak into your glove and listen to the other person, instead of removing your gloves and getting cold hands.” This is pretty much the same effect I would get if I just put the damn phone to my head like a used-to-be normal person.

Wait…why the hell would I have to remove my gloves anyway?

I believe the idea is that most gloves won’t work with touch screens. OK, fine. How long does it take to hit a button to accept a call? Certainly not so long that I’d want to buy these gloves and stand around looking like I’m miming a phone call to invisible people around me. Since these gloves are able to work on touch screens, it seems that they would be fine going that far. It would fix the “cold hands” issue, and you wouldn’t have to stand around looking like a douche bag who is showing you how to use a telephone.

Instead of letting your pwecious wittle bitty handsy wandsies get cold, you can purchase these gloves for $65. The alternative however, is that you can just stop standing around in the middle of the fucking Tundra while you’re on the phone and use a normal bluetooth headset. Seriously, we’ve become so lazy and fragile that we can’t bare a little cold weather while we use the phone? Unless you’re in the middle of a blizzard on a 10 minute call, this makes no sense. Such a pussified bunch of children, too afraid to let their hands get a little cold while they use the phone.

Considering the ridiculously high number of people who still think their phone is a CB Radio and the rest of the world wants to hear them yell into it from a foot away from their face, I should be happy that this is coming out. However, those people clearly aren’t going to be using it anyway, and it’s only going to aid in more accidents when people decide they can do everything in their car with one hand.

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