Facebook, You Spam Promoting Fuck

Facebook is starting to drive me nuts. They seem to feel the need to clutter up our feeds with a bunch of bullshit we don’t care about. As I noticed today, it’s only getting worse.

Do you remember when your feed was only full of the nonsense your “friends” posted? I say that in quotes because many people are playing the MySpace game with Facebook and adding as many pretend friends as they can, as if they’re going to win some kind of prize for having the most. However, that’s another topic altogether.

Right now, I’m talking about the garbage Facebook has decided to fill up our feeds with. Each day, I find several sponsored ads in my feed. Most of them are masked behind my friends, showing me that they “liked” something. Just below that is the sponsored message. Sponsored or not, I don’t give a shit what my friend happened to like. Shoving it in my face only blocks the posts I actually want to view.

Sponsored spam is still spam!

You can choose not to see these, of course. You can hide the ad, which is pretty much useless because another will come up a little while later. Sometimes, you can’t even do that. You can tell it to hide, but the fucker shows up again. Tell it to hide as many times as you want. It will just laugh at you and stick it’s stupid fuck face right back in your feed. For the ones that you can hide, you also have the option of hiding all posts by that particular person or sponsor. I’m not going to block my friend for something Facebook is doing, so that’s just stupid. Instead, I block the sponsored bullshit fucker. Eventually, I’ll have all of them blocked. What’s that? About 95,000,000 sponsors?

The only other option is to disable showing what your friends like. Sounds simple, but Facebook pulled some of their ass fuckery and coupled it with comments as well, so if you stop seeing their likes, you can’t see their comments either. That is called being a douchebag, Facebook.

Some of the sponsored messages show up as a normal post, hoping to make you think you actually do follow whatever company is promoting the ad into your feed. Some of these are so obvious that it’s almost laughable. Seriously, you paid to show up, try not coming off as a spam message.

But that’s exactly what this shit is. It’s SPAM!

Wikipedia defines spam:

Spam is the use of electronic messaging systems to send unsolicited bulk messages, especially advertising, indiscriminately. While the most widely recognized form of spam is e-mail spam, the term is applied to similar abuses in other media: instant messaging spam, Usenet newsgroup spam, Web search engine spam, spam in blogs, wiki spam, online classified ads spam, mobile phone messaging spam, Internet forum spam, junk fax transmissions, social networking spam, social spam, television advertising and file sharing network spam.

Notice that part about social networking spam. That’s exactly what this is. Just because the company paid to put it there doesn’t make it anything less. Actually, it makes it worse because it’s Facebook approved spam!

I understand that companies need to make money in order to provide their services. That’s fine. You have already taken over the right side of our screen with 7 advertisements. You also sell subscriptions to some of your apps, according to my account settings (the Payment Settings). So why are you cluttering up my fucking feed you cockgobblers?! Get this shit the fuck out of there!

Each time one of these ads shows up, I either block the company completely or I report it as spam. I recently cleared out nearly all the things I’ve liked over the years to help prevent my friends from getting any of the “like spam” in their feed. Sure, I like a variety of movies, bands, and other products but I don’t need to tell Facebook that. It’s not helping me any. They’ve only ever used it for marketing purposes anyway.

So all of that is gone. The ones that show up are reported as spam, with a message to Facebook about it being spam. They of course send these messages directly to the recycle bin and pay me no attention. Or so I thought.

As of today, I noticed that Facebook has decided that if I’m going to keep dumping their sponsored bullshit, they need to find a way to fill up my feed with something else. I logged on tonight and found a few Events sitting in my feed. They aren’t events I was invited to, just events that are nearby that I might want to attend. I don’t.

I clicked the X to try to get rid of them, but this prompts you with a box asking if the event is doing something sinister. Those are really the only choices. Apparently, me getting rid of this can only be done if I report it for doing something bad. It isn’t. Facebook is. They are dumping this garbage in my feed.

I went to the Events page to see if I could do anything there. I was able to X them out there, which made no sense. It didn’t ask me if the ad was doing anything wrong, like molesting chickens or something. It simply went away. I went back to my feed and it was gone. I refreshed the page to see anything new and the fuckers were back again. Shit baskets!

I headed back into the Events page and looked around. There is a gear that allowed me to change my settings, which shut off the “suggested” events. Good! Finally! Now, I have to ask this one simple question:


Twitter uses sponsored tweets to fund their business. That’s fine because I haven’t really noticed them. They are taking the right approach to it because they aren’t fucking up your experience. Facebook doesn’t give a shit. They’ll fuck up your experience anyway they want, and you can just suck Zuckerberg’s dick if you don’t like it. That’s impression I get, at least.

I can only assume that they expect these sponsored ads to not bother people. I’m guessing this works on the people who have 500 stupid ass apps loaded into their account which spam their friends with dumbass pictures they can’t view unless they add it as well.

Or reverse image search it on Google and find any of the 600 websites that publicly post the picture.

Anyway, that’s all. My irritation has subsided for right now. I’m sure they’ll do something else stupid soon.

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