Happy Meals Make Your Kid a Fat Fuck

Originally posted at MimicLives.com

So a while back a bunch of idiots decided to ban Happy Meals in San Francisco. Yes, San Francisco. One of the weirdest cities on the planet. Apparently, with all of the bizarre things that go on there, Happy Meals were too eccentric.

Because someone saw the movie Supersize Me, San Fran (which I will refer to as Stupid Shit Fuck for the remainder of this post) has pulled the plug on Happy Meals. They’ve decided that McDonalds, must stop forcing children to eat what their parents chose to buy them and instead stare blankly at fruits and vegetables purchased from a place with a big smiling clown. Fun becomes disappointment.

Unhappy MealThe plan is to eject the toys that you get in your meal, or at least substitute the food for something less in calories. Why? Because as a parent, you’re too ignorant and dumb to make a decision on what to feed your child. You are so utterly powerless against your children that you have to drive them to McDonalds and buy the food they want. Then, you must watch as they not only don’t eat it, but play with the toy that you bought. Why has this not happened before!? Thank you Stupid Shit Fuck, you’ve saved us all!

I have a child. She wants to go to McDonalds. I myself, having the ability to decide for myself if we’re going there or not, may or may not go there. It’s up to me. Not up to her. What I buy from there is up to me as well. It certainly shouldn’t be up to a bunch of full of shit politicians who are so incredibly stupid and self minded that they can’t even recognize reality through the wave of bullshit that’s fed to us about obesity. Hey, if you want kids to not become a pile of shit on a couch, get them off the couch. Unplug the internet from their faces and kick them outside. Make them play instead of pretending the problem isn’t what is punching you in the face every time you see them sitting around doing as little as possible.

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