Entertainment

Kristen Stewart Cheating Scandal Summed Up

Panic struck the Twitter Lunatics who couldn't fathom Kristen Stewart being a cheater
Panic struck the Twitter Lunatics who couldn’t fathom Kristen Stewart being a cheater

News: Kristen Stewart Cheats on Robert Pattinson with married director of Snow White
Twitter Lunatics: It’s not true, don’t believe the lies! She didn’t cheat! Don’t believe the media or reporters, they only tell lies!

 

Kristen Stewart: I totally cheated, here is the apology.
Twitter Lunatics: The apology is a lie! A reporter at People said so! Ignore that thing about not believing reporters in this one case. Oh, and we have no way to prove this reporter exists, so ignore that, too.

 

Robert Pattinson: WAH! I totally loved you more than pancakes and bacon, you broke my heart into a gazillion pieces! I’m moving out! *leaves house*
Twitter Lunatics: She totally loves Rob! Take her back! She just made an oops!

 

News: Rupert Sanders is married to Liberty Ross, who also stared in the movie with Kristen. The pictures of their affair go back a couple months and show the two very cozy together.
Twitter Lunatics: He totally took advantage of her! She felt trapped in that open restaurant full of people! He is at fault completely! She was totally stupid and didn’t know it was wrong!

 

One they finally faced reality, they turned into giant babies who acted as if this somehow affected their lives
One they finally faced reality, they turned into giant babies who acted as if this somehow affected their lives

News: Rupert Sanders’ brother-in-law states that the affair has been going on for months.
Twitter Lunatics: LIES! We know better than people connected to the situation! Just because he actually knows the people involved means nothing! We know the truth because we weren’t there!

 

Robert Pattinson: GTFO Kristen, L0L3rz!
Twitter Lunatics: There was no affair! They are happy together! NOOOOOOOO!!!! Team BELLA! We love you! You are the perfect angel of chocolate happiness! You can kill babies in front of us and we will support you 100%! The lies must stop!!!

That’s basically the last few days summed up.

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