The interweb is abuzz with the news that Kristen Stewart, the emotionless babbling nightmare of an actress in Twilight, has cheated on the stone faced love child of James Dean and Frankenstein… Robert Pattinson for those unaware of who I’m referring to. Yes, it seems that another Hollywood love scandal has hit the net, and now all the teenage girls are slamming her and wanting to bone Edward (Robert Pattinson) back into the world of happiness.
To take a term from Beavis, Kristen Stewart was doing the wild monkey dance with the director of Snow White and the Huntsman, Rupert Sanders. To make matters worse, he’s married. To add icing to the shit cake of infidelity, he also has kids.
While it is bad that both of these turds cheated on their respective love partners, the Internet is more concerned with who is to blame for the situation. On Movie Pilot, they ask their readers if Rupert Sanders took advantage of Kristen Stewart, as if she’s a mindless zombie who didn’t realize it was a bad idea. While I agree that she is a mindless zombie, I’m sure she knew what she was doing was less than correct behavior.
Following the revelation of their indiscretions, they both issued written public apologizes. Why? Who the fuck knows. They didn’t cheat on all of us, so why should they make this a public matter?
Kristen is pleading with the world and explaining how much she loves Robert Pattinson, rather than taking the case to him. Kristen, stop giving a fuck what the world thinks and fix your shit. If you really love him, shut the public apology bullshit down and focus on what matters. The same goes for Rupert, who is issuing a similar statement about his love for his wife and kids.
Everyone is mentioning how Kristen Stewart is “devastated”, as if this is something that was done to her. But seeing as how there is more talk of how Rupert Sanders is more to blame since he’s a married man, it doesn’t surprise me. Neither one of them are more to blame than the other. They both knew each other’s details and neither one of them raped the other, so they both catch equal blame. Just because she’s younger and a girl doesn’t make her stupid and blameless.
Now, when it comes to something like this, it’s always going to be up to the offended party. In this case, it’s Robert Pattinson. He has the ball, and it’s up to him if he wants to continue to play the game.
However, if he is considering going back to her, he needs to keep something in mind. If there was ever any weird sexual thing he wanted to do with her that she wasn’t up for, now he can! Or if he plans on having revenge sex with someone else, he’s got a nation full dumbasses who would be willing to do any depraved sexual act that Edward Cullen wants them to do. This may actually be a good thing for him, if he can see it that way.
Either way, I’m sure we’ll hear more about this over the next couple days. Now that Robert Pattinson has moved out, likely off to someplace where they are holding a festival for vampires, the news is likely to get more interesting.
Update: I continued this further and also mentioned that while I said here that they humped hardcore, it’s not actually known if they did (hence, the title change). More like speculation based on what is known, that they did cheat on their respective significant others. Well, not as significant as they thought they were I guess.