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Snackeez will cure you from being a moronic klutz

Having kids means that the various Nickelodeon and Disney channels are frequently playing through my living room TV. That means a slew of very stupid As Seen on TV commercials for ridiculous and sometimes duplicate products (such as the various stuffable toys) are constantly running. One of the dumbest commercials I’ve seen yet is the one for Snackeez.

Snackeez in itself isn’t a terrible idea. It’s a cup that can hold both your beverage and your snack. The product idea is fine, the commercial on the other hand is not.

A typical As Seen On TV commercial shows you why you need the product by showing a problem and then it solving the issue. According to the commercial for Snackeez, the problem is that you’re a dumbass who can’t go more than 3 seconds before spasming and covering your house in potato chips and soda.

Boobs and Snackeez are a wonderful combination
Boobs and Snackeez are a wonderful combination

Through the whole commercial we see people losing control of their ability to sit still. We also find out that children apparently shit several cups of non digested candy into your backseat. I realize that kids do make a mess in the car (mine shows this frequently) but according to this commercial, they distribute it as if laying it like an egg.

Thankfully, Snackeez is right there to save you and prevent your children from just manifesting from their ass the impulse aisle at Walmart.

According to the scientific research provided in the advertisement, a family that uses Snackeez cups are happier with their lives. They enjoy meaningless moments, smile more and no longer fall over without reason. The beach is more enjoyable and you no longer have to forget and remember how disgusting your husband is.

As I said, the idea isn’t bad but the commercial is. Then again, maybe their marketing target group does consist of people who are too stupid handle a bowl of chips and a cup at the same time.

In case you’ve never seen the commercial, here it is.

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