The crazy girl with the cardboard Tebow

Originally posted at

If a guy took a cardboard girl, he would be considered creepy.
If a guy took a cardboard girl, he would be considered creepy.

This insanity around Tebow is getting out of hand. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a sports fan so I can’t say if he’s good at what he does or not. Hype is never an indicator for skill or worth. For all I know though, he may be the greatest whatever-the-hell-he-is-in-Football that’s ever lived. This isn’t about him though, it’s about these crazy people who keep begging him for dates.

Now that Celebrities have discovered the Internet and Social Networking, they’ve been inundated with dating and marriage requests from every loony in the world. Some have given in to the requests and actually met some of their fans in various outings. While I think it’s cool that some of the celebs do this, I can’t help but smell more than a hint of self supporting PR behind each date. Still, it’s nice when they can make a crazy person’s day.

For Tebow, the lunatic fan base seems to be growing. Recently, Rachel Bird, a senior in high school, asked him to be her date to the prom because she didn’t have one. Before you assume that she must resemble the Hunchback of Notre-Dame (think Rosie O’Donnell, but less monster-like), let me mention that this girl is far from unattractive. She’s pretty cute so unless she has the personality of a drunk Nicki Minaj, I can’t see her having trouble finding a date.

After her request to Tebow failed, she went with what any normal human being would do. She went to Staples and had a life-size cutout of him made so she could take that instead. Wait…you thought I was going to say she’d just ask a real person? How stupid you are. Go sit in a corner and think about how dumb you must be for not realizing that sane people take cardboard dates to their prom instead of real people.

Some people view this as cute and adorable. I view this as being a step away from a blowup doll. Seriously, what the hell is going on with the world? I’m a fan of various female celebrities, but I have more sense than to expect one of them to go out with me. And taking a life size cutout of one to a prom seems to be a request for ridicule. Or a request for attention, which is exactly what she ended up with….though not from Tebow.

The media loves people like this. Anyone Tebow is asked out, it’s in the news. For some reason, this is important enough that we all need to stop what we’re doing and learn that some random fan wants to date this guy. Then again, based on the news I read on MSN, this is like coverage of a nuclear holocaust when compared.

What the fuck is wrong with teenage girls?But maybe this works. Maybe one day I’ll get to hang out with Winona Ryder, Thandie Newton, Judy Greer, Summer Glau or Jennifer Connelly. It’s highly unlikely, as now that I’ve mentioned them they are filing restraining orders to prevent such a chance. But maybe it isn’t crazy to ask a celebrity to date or marry you. Maybe you don’t have a screw loose. Heck, “Beliebers” do it all the time. Ok, maybe that wasn’t a good example of what isn’t batshit crazy. Still, it would be a good idea to live in reality and find a person to date that you actually have a chance of meeting.

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