There should be no such thing as an observed holiday

It’s July 3rd. According to the calendar and many businesses, today is an observed holiday. Basically what that means is that today is a holiday due to the actually one falling on a Saturday. It’s a day without any significance, but because the real holiday is on a weekend, a new temporary one is made to fill in a gap in the regular work week. You probably don’t get paid any different for it, but it’s there for some people to take the day off and pretend they give a shit about the actual holiday.

To me, this is a moderately stupid thing. On a scale of 1 – 10, (1 = not stupid and 10 = Justin Bieber), this rates around a 6.843. Then again, I can’t really be surprised that these dumb ass things exist. People love to pretend to celebrate a holiday, no matter how important or trivial it may be. In this case, it’s a holiday typically used to get drunk, blow up crap and buy washing machines.

Actually that pretty much sums up most holidays.

Holidays have become meaningless

drunkThe sad fact is that holidays really have no meaning to people any more. They’ve all become a collection of shopping days and excuses to get drunk. New Year’s Eve, a night to celebrating the dawn of a new calendar year, is synonymous with “shit faced black out drunk”, however they’ll probably never mark January 1st with that label on a calendar.

Holidays are nothing more than an excuse to take the day off so you can get hammered and buy shit on sale, sales that are usually the same thing they were a few weeks before. Nearly every holiday ends up becoming a sales day (though I admit I’ve never seen a Martin Luther King, Jr Day Sale). People just don’t actually care about them anymore.

Two of the biggest offenders and most often criticized are Thanksgiving and Christmas. Both of these days are supposed to be family related holidays, days when you get together and enjoy each other’s company. Instead, they’ve become the biggest shopping days of the year. Nothing drives sales faster and heavier than Thanksgiving and Christmas. These two days have been wrapped in controversy because of it, with people taking up verbal arms on each side of the debate. Some are happy shopping and don’t give a shit about the holiday season, while the other side hates you and hopes you die for not being with your family.

OK, that may be slightly extreme but that’s pretty much what it seems like. People who don’t like the idea of shopping on these days claim to boycott the businesses on those days. Since they weren’t going to shop there on those days anyway, I’m not really sure what they think they are accomplishing.

I understand that not everyone has a family to go to (or that some families should be avoided at all costs). I understand that some people need to work, either to pay their bills or because their services are required. I also know that some people would rather work because it’s usually an easy day and holiday pay can put that extra bump in your wallet to spend on more meaningless shit on the next holiday.

Still, the point remains the same. Holidays have little purpose these days. Instead of celebrating a holiday, people use it to do unrelated things.

veterans-day-saleVeterans Day, a day to celebrate those in the armed services who fight and risk their lives for our nation, is a day used to get discounts on televisions. It’s a day when some of the shittiest piece of crap people come out of the woodwork and pretend to be a soldier simply so they can get free food at Golden Corral. I know someone who does that, and his stupid giant fat ass should know better, especially since his wife actually is a former service member.

Memorial Day is a day to remember those servicemen who died. It’s also a day to remember to buy charcoal and beer for your Memorial Day party.


It’s not really one that is observed but it is one that gets treated in an equally shitty way. Halloween is one of the easiest to be moved or simply ignored holidays. Remember when you were a kid and you could go trick-or-treating, dressing up and having all kinds of fun? Well fuck that shit, there are murders and molesters out there! And this is an evil day!


People are idiots. The first time I heard about Halloween being moved from a Sunday to a Saturday, I felt my brain crack. A group of religious people decided that it’s a day of evil and shouldn’t be on God’s day off. They felt it needed to be moved. However, if you wanted to move Christmas, I’m sure they would have a raging shit fit. And just try to explain that it doesn’t belong in December to begin with. That’s a fun argument.

Halloween has become a bit of a joke. It’s another holiday celebrated by getting drunk and passing out in the street, but it also comes with the added feature of putting on costumes. Most of the time the costumes are fairly pathetic. Anything female for someone 16 and up is a “sexy” whatever. There’s the sexy schoolgirl, sexy stewardess, sexy nurse, sexy cat. I’m waiting for new ones like sexy tow truck driver, sexy Abraham Lincoln, and sexy seamstress. Basically dress in something tight and look sultry. That’s about all you need to do.

But hey, it’s a day of evil because horror movies said so. Ignore the fact that it isn’t, and just move it around or ban it all together. Meanwhile, celebrate the birth of a magic guy you think is his own dad, a guy who was brutally murdered on those things you wear around your neck. Yeah, you’re kind of sick.

The Mail is here

Clearly, the Post Office does not give a shit about today being an observed holiday. The mailman is currently across the street, delivering to my neighbor what I must assume is a box of dildos. It’s nice to see that some government agencies continue to work on made up holidays.

I don’t really expect people to sit around doing super patriotic things tomorrow. That’s not really where my complaint takes aim. I’m mostly annoyed that there isn’t even an acknowledgement from most people about what the holiday represents. They’ve become more about products, drinking and partying than about what they are actually for.

So have fun pretending to celebrate a holiday. I know that for the most part, like most of what I write or say, you probably won’t give a shit. Have fun forgetting your own name and almost blowing your hand off.

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